Trump is an actual fascist, and it’s super important that we fight his hateful ideology and save the world. To do this, we need to restrict free speech, disarm the population and nationalize the economy.
It’s not going to be easy, and that’s why we need your help! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!! Listen up, here’s how it goes down.
Firstly, we need to admit that the Constitution has outlived its usefulness. At this point, the idea that “free speech” is anything more than a Nazi scheme is utterly ridiculous. IT’S. THE. F***ING. PATRIARCHY. BITCHES. That old-ass, racist document makes it essentially impossible to impose central control from the federal government and therefore is an impediment to fighting fascism. IT HAS TO GO.
Nextly, it’s super important that the population be disarmed, subdued and preferably high or something, OTHERWISE THE FASCISTS WIN. The problem is that because they have guns, it makes it super hard for us to force them to give up their second amendment rights, which is, like, extremely problematic.
And lastly of all, we need to take over all major industries, but if not all, then just the biggest ones like healthcare and banking. That way people will be forced into a central bureaucratic database that the feds can use to weed out the f***ing fascists, and we can finally have our freedom again.
Alright, everyone, got that? Let’s turn this dream into a reality on 3 – 1, 2, 3, GO!