It seems like more disturbing news hits us every day. This morning, scientists as the McLellan Research Lab released a monumental study that should chill the hearts of all Americans. The data, which looked at the largest possible sample size with the most rigorous methodological standards, showed the unmistakable rise in the number of people looking at graphs, and the trend line doesn’t appear to be flattening anytime soon.
“We realize that even in presenting this research that we’re contributing to the problem,” said the leading scientist standing in front of a large poster of showing a sinister-looking exponential curve, “But there’s simply no other way to get this information to the public. God help us we tried. We tried to think of another way, but in the end, we realized that the only way out is through.”
The disturbing rise of graph-looking started sometime in March, and, if trends are correct, will continue well into June. “This is not who we have to be,” concludes the study, “But, unfortunately, it’s who we are… for now.”