Say What You Want About Venezuela, but They’ve Certainly Solved the Obesity Crisis

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American conservatives love to strawman Venezuela. Whenever a progressive candidate advocates for bold policy ideas, they start saying “You’re going to turn America into Venezuela” as if that was a bad thing! Newsflash, conservaPIGS, America has problems too. You can say what you want about Venezuela, but they certainly solved the obesity crisis!

The most common cause of death in America is heart disease, and what do you think causes that? Ding, ding, ding, it’s obesity, morons. Americans are literally killing themselves with food EVERY DAY. You can’t say that about Venezuela.

So let me get this straight – America is SOOOO great, and Venezuela is SOOOO terrible, but Venezuela has totally solved the obesity crisis that America can’t seem to handle? Geez, color me stupid, but it seems like America might have a thing or two to learn from its neighbor to the south. Their rate of obesity is, like, basically zero.

America also has a stray pet problem. Cats and dogs are literally rounded up on the streets and killed in shelters because there are too many of them who don’t have homes. In Venezuela, they don’t have this problem at all! What they have discovered, in their progressive social utopia, is that these common house pets are a great lean source of protein!

In conclusion, next time you hear someone fearmongering about progressive policies and saying “They’re going to turn America into Venezuela,” you should ask them “What’s so bad about that?”