New Facebook Policy Says Whistleblower Must Only be Referred to as He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named

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Facebook rolled out a new policy today to protect the identity of the ‘Ukraine Whistleblower,’ stating that from henceforth the whistleblower must only be referred to as He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, and not by his real name, E*** C*********.

He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named is a precious national resource who must be protected at all costs, and that’s why it was so vital for Facebook to make this move. Hopefully, other social media companies and even banks and employers will implement the same rule! It’s really not that hard to follow. After all, He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named isn’t much more difficult to type than E*** C********* .

The point is, it’s not illegal to say the whistleblower’s name, but like, can’t you just be part of the team? Shouldn’t someone be able to take down the most powerful man in the world with an anonymous allegation and be protected by the media class from ever facing public scrutiny? After all, isn’t that what democracy is all about?

Please stop naming E*** C********* , and follow the approved ‘He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named’ template. Our democracy literally depends on it.

[Note, E*** C*********’s name retroactively redacted to get site re-listed on Facebook…]

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