NBA to Broadcast Maoist Propaganda as Part of Lucrative Sponsorship Deal with the Chinese Government

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The NBA has signed a lucrative sponsorship deal with the Chinese government, and that means there may be some changes coming for you basketball fans, but don’t worry, things will (mostly) stay the same.

Before each game, the Chinese national anthem will play with a mandatory no-kneeling policy. Players are expected to stand straight and tall with their shoulders back and hands on their hearts. While the rules of the game will remain the same, the referees will now be required to consult with their government attaché for any borderline calls.

The in-game broadcasts will now alternate between shots of the players and Maoist era propaganda. As the propaganda will only be playing a mere 38% of the time, this should be non-intrusive for fans watching the game. During the propaganda breaks, however, fans are asked to be quiet and respectful of the message being broadcast.

All in all, this deal is set to make the NBA a boatload of cash, and isn’t that what basketball is all about?