Biden is alive and well, and, it turns out, he’s a Gryffindor. That’s because the Democratic Presidential nominee just took a (really difficult!) cognitive test that he found online, and, like, that’s what it told him.
“heheheh, I’m acing this cognitive test,” thought Ol’ Joe to himself as he took the online quiz for, like, the 80th time. “See! I’m the Gryffin thing! Like that girl!” He cried out after getting the correct results. “I’d like to see Trump take this.”
Members of the media (ourselves included), generally agree that taking a Harry Potter sorting quiz over and over again online is a sign of strong mental acuity – that, or you’re a 15-year-old girl. Either way, gender equity for the win!