Harris Proposes Keeping Kids in School 24/7, Using Them for Cheap Labor

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Democratic Presidential hopeful Kamala Harris keeps hitting it out of the park with bold plans and daring proposals. This week, Harris unveiled a big new idea to help improve schooling.

“Why not keep kids in school 24/7,” Harris asked in a provocative speech, “And use them for cheap labor? We could sentence them for, say, 12 years of schooling and then pay them pennies-per-hour to put together parking cones or fight fires. I did this as attorney general, and it worked wonders!”

Her proposal has come under fire from some on the right and the left who clearly don’t like good ideas. Many have compared it to ‘prison,’ which is obviously illogical because the kids haven’t committed any crimes!

Much of this ‘opposition’ appears to actually be the work of Russian troll farms. “Anyone caught amplifying these messages,” says the Senator, “Will be caught and sent to school as well.”