Democrats Come Out in Support of Pandering at CNN’s Equality Town Hall

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The Democratic Presidential Candidates were out in full force last night at CNN’s “Equality Town Hall.” While Democrats of yesteryear may have been wishy-washy in support for various identity causes, the 2020 field showed why they are the most progressive in history by taking a bold, pro-pandering stance.

“All the genders, I pander to all the genders,” said Joe Biden, “Any of them. I don’t care. All of them. I’m pro. I’m the guy who’s pro all of them. Ask me any question, I’m for it.”

Kamala Harris took a brave stance in favor of weaponizing niche identity groups for political ends. “We have to hold up the pain of black, trans-women and use it as a battering ram to get to our end goals. Their significance cannot be exaggerated when it comes to our political agenda.”

While all the candidates took inspiring stances against reason and common sense, Elizabeth Warren had perhaps the best line of the night. “It’s important that we validate everything these people feel,” she said, “Whatever you feel, that’s what I’m for. No ifs, ands, or buts.”

After the town hall ended, CNN immediately aired a 2-hour look-back at the event with celebrity commentators gushing that this is what makes CNN the “world’s most caring network.”