Joe Biden’s campaign has seen better days. The former Vice President who was once considered the frontrunner finished a dismal 4th place in Iowa as Democratic voters abandon him, worried he won’t actually destroy this country.
“I like Joe,” said Rhonda Schofield of New Hampshire, “But he doesn’t seem like he’s going to totally upend our way of life, our economics, our culture. I just don’t believe he’s really going to totally eviscerate the backbones of our civilization and plunge us into a fundamentalist, identitarian, socialist dystopia. Sure, he pays lip-service to all that, but in my bones, I don’t believe him. I have to trust that.”
Other votes were more explicit in their opposition. “We need to fly a plane into these towers of racist, sexist, homophobic, patriarchal hegemony, and Biden’s just not the guy to do it.”
In an effort to hemorrhage these voters, the Biden campaign has released a statement saying that they are “extremely committed to the destruction of America and the American way of life,” but it appears to be falling on dull ears. Too little too late, Joe.