Castro Ends 2020 Bid to Pursue Dream Opening a Chain of Abortion Clinics for Transgender Women

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Sometimes a giant falls only to rise again as a field of beautiful flowers. Such was the campaign of Julian Castro, which ended today but will live on eternally in word and deed. This afternoon, the Texas Congressman addressed a crowd of supporters to announce the news.

“This is not the end,” said Castro “But the beginning. I’m here to tell you that I may be ending my bid for the white house, but I will never end my fight for justice. I am here to announce that starting right now, immediately, I will be devoting all my time to a livelong dream I’ve had and open a chain of abortion clinics for transgender women!” The crowd cheered, “It shouldn’t matter if you have a uterus or testicles, you deserve reproductive justice!”

Castro has already secured funding for the project and plans to open flagship clinics across 10 different states by the end of 2020. Some bigots have erroneously stated that transgender women would not need abortions since they can’t have babies, but they have since been deleted from social media, fired from their jobs, evicted from their houses and banned from making financial transactions.