California Governor Says State No Longer Needs Power Because “The Fires Basically Do All That”

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The state of California has been in crisis, dealing with rolling blackouts and raging wildfires for the past few weeks with seemingly no solution in sight. Or, perhaps the solution was right in front of their faces all along? In a stroke of political genius, California Governor Gavin Newsome killed two birds with one stone when he boldly announced that California would no longer need power because “The fires basically do all that.”

Standing in front of a blazing highway, Newsom went on “You need electricity to heat your house and provide light by which to see. Isn’t that exactly what these fires are doing? They provide light, heat, even entertainment – have you ever stared into the wild eyes of a fire as it danced up a wall or consumed a hill of trees? You would barely miss your iPhone after that.”

While the reception of the Governor’s speech was mostly positive, some critics have pointed out that wildfires are not an ideal source of energy because, aside from producing light and heat, they completely obliterate everything in their path. Others have dismissed these concerns as “right-wing talking points.”