Biden Goes as Sexy Santa to the Mall This Year

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Ho, ho, mmmmhm… Somebody’s looking good for his age, and that somebody is former Vice President Joe Biden who went as as Sexy Santa to the mall this year for some campaigning and holiday cuddles.

“Joe loves the people, and the people love Joe,” said Biden’s campaign manager, “We wanted to combine body-positive activism with a bit of a sexy holiday flair, and voila, a star was born.”

Men, women, and children lined up for miles for a chance to sit on the former VP’s lap and tell him what they wanted for the 2020 election. Biden had just one rule, no malarkey.

“Absolutely, if you ask for Malarkey, he’ll just kick you right off his lap. He doesn’t stand for that.”