Bezos Offers to Replace Police with Fully Armed Amazon Delivery Drones

bezos replace police fully armed amazon delivery drones
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Now that’s an offer you can’t refuse! Today, world’s richest man and smooth headed stud Jeff Bezos (founder of Amazon, ever heard of it?), spoke out about the egregious police violence across the United States and offered a unique and generous solution to the problem. “Amazon’s delivery drones can easily be armed,” he explained to a spellbound crowd, “And then be used to replace police officers across the nation. And of course, they’ll be equipped with the very latest in anti-racist software.”

Many anti-police advocates were thrilled with the idea, “Of course we want to get rid of the racist, evil police,” proclaimed one protestor, “And if Amazon’s killer robots can fill in the void, so much the better.”

Others were bit more skeptical about the proposal, “I don’t know if I’m comfortable with the same drones who deliver my packages also policing law and crime. What if I need to call someone to report a missing package? How can I trust they’ll be unbiased?”

Jeff Bezos has heard all these criticisms before and explained, “All these things can be worked out. The most important thing is that we get these babies armed and patrolling the streets ASAP, so they can start saving lives.”

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