Local Mayor Invokes Prima Nocta to Help Fight COVID-19
Lockdowns Prove Extremely Effective in Curbing Dangerous Epidemic of Freedom
Experts Warn of 2-Trillion Dead Unless We All Get into Stasis Tubes Immediately!
New CDC Director Says He Has a Way to Cure Half the Population of Coronavirus Immediately
The Revolution Continues! Cries a Wild-Eyed Bernie Sanders as He Instructs His Followers How to Mix Kool-Aid and Cyanide Over Zoom
Sanders Drops Out: We Have Already Achieved Communism
Protestors Take to the Streets to Demand Coronavirus be Cancelled Over Racist Tweets
Trump Invokes Defense Production Act to Force CNN to Start Printing Real News
Nation’s Body Collectors Report an Alarming Number of COVID Patients Claiming They’re “Not Dead Yet”
Disturbing! Trump Tells Americans to Have “Hope” Despite Lack of Approval by the FDA
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