Americans Shocked to Learn Democrats Running for President of THIS Country

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Widespread confusion rippled through the country this morning as Americans began to realize that the vast field of Democratic presidential candidates were actually running to be president of this country.

“I assumed they were candidates for president of Cuba or Venezuela or one of those Scandinavian countries,” said one woman, “I was confused as to why they were getting so much time on TV, but I assumed it was because nothing much else interesting was going on,”

“Are you kidding me?” said one man on a street, apparently learning about it for the first time, “That doesn’t make sense at all. Are you sure they’re not trying to be president of Canada or Mexico or something? Or one of those, uh, little islands? Lemme Google that…”

“Then why aren’t they trying to appeal to American voters?” Asked one little girl, her innocence making the question more poignant.

Her mother quickly pulled her along, shooting us a dirty look and covering the girl’s ears, “Let’s go, sweetie. You don’t need to hear about this.”

Ah, how the springtime of childhood turns into the winter of knowledge so fast. May they always remain so young.