The Derringer is a satirical news source and should not be consumed without adult supervision. If you must consume content on The Derringer, please be aware that is does not contain any truth and should not be taken seriously.
The above statement in no way implies that non-satirical news sources are safe to consume, contain truth or should be taken seriously. The Derringer is in no way responsible for any psychological or physiological damage caused by said non-satirical sources. If you are experiencing such damage, please contact your medical doctor immediately.
The Derringer also takes no responsibility for severe harm caused by its content, including diabetes, cancer or death. If you have consumed content from The Derringer and henceforth contracted diabetes or cancer, please contact Marshall & McClain Law to participate in their ongoing class action lawsuit. If you are dead, please contact your mortician.
If you need to contact us, click here.